


I See You

by CowandCalf



Series: Jot It Down July 2018 [3]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Anal Fingering, Angst, Blow Jobs, Clubbing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fate, First Meetings, Fluff, Gay Sex, Happy Ending, I need the guys to be happy, Love at First Sight, M/M, Mary is a great sister, One Shot, Romance, Smut, Strangers to Lovers, jot it down July, mcdanno, no one is dead, overuse of the word fuck, this story is all about happiness, yes I'm smoochy as fuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-02
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-06-20 19:19:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15541212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CowandCalf/pseuds/CowandCalf
Summary: Steve loved Mary, his younger sister, wholeheartedly. She was always supportive, and they got along great together. But sometimes she could be such a pain in the ass, especially when she used her female tactics to corner Steve, forcing him to spill information about a night at the club where he saw the man of his dreams. Steve remembered blond hair and blue eyes. Since that night his heart beat in an unfamiliar rhythm and his bones ached with yearning. Mary knew which buttons to press to push Steve into the right direction. Steve finally got his shit together. He was on his way to the club, dressed to the nines, looking hot as fuck and with the single goal to find this blond guy, who stole his heart. If only it was that simple.





	I See You

**Author's Note:**

> **A/N**  
>   
> 
> Written as part of the ['Jot It Down July'](https://tari-aldarion.tumblr.com/post/175158992026/jot-it-down-july) writing challenge on Tumblr. 
> 
> I've finished this story 30th of July but my beta had to proofread it, too. Katie, @tari-aldarion, gave me the permission to add it to the Jot It Down July collection although I posted it on the first days of August.
> 
> A big thank you goes to [@tari-aldarion](https://tari-aldarion.tumblr.com/) and [@nihilvanum](https://nihilvanum.tumblr.com/) who came up with this sparkling idea. I have to tell you guys your inspiring idea has been a fantastic experience. I wouldn't have believed in the beginning what I would be capable of, once I've started my first one-shot for this challenge. Thank you for this excellent possibility to fuel my muse. My writing truly has evolved during this writing challenge. And this is freaking amazing!
> 
> This one-shot contains two topics: One is for **Sunday aka Sparksday** I chose again First Meetings, and the other is for **Saturday aka Smuterday** and that says all because it's full of smut. And hell yes, I needed the guys to have some hot, debauched times after all the sexual tension in my first one-shots. So here you go, guys. Have some sexy times and don't mention the word count – I needed details, lots and lots of details!
> 
>  **Disclaimer:**  
>  I don't own any of the characters and I do not make profits by writing my stories. I write solely for the fun of it. I only claim plot points.
> 
> My story is beta read by my incredible, wonderful and amazing friend [indiepjones46](https://archiveofourown.org/users/indiepjones46/pseuds/indiepjones46)  
> Thank you so much, Indie, for your precious beta read on my story.
> 
> Indiepjones46 is a magnificent author. She's my constant source of knowledge and her on-going support to work on my writing style helps me to improve, to get better. She tutors me, she cheers me on, she's my light and my great, fabulous friend. You're my soul sister, Indie – my brain twin. Thank you for your endless caring and your wonderful support. It means the world to me. My writing wouldn't have reached this level without your fabulous, gentle guidance. Thank you for every second of your time and your friendship.
> 
> All remaining mistakes are my own.
> 
>  
> 
> A big 'thank you' to you my lovely readers. You're gifting me with your time and your attention. This is so wonderful and just freaking fantastic! I love you guys for dropping by to read my story! Thank you so much!
> 
> I hope you like it.

Steve's tension finally lessened. His muscles buzzed with a pleasant tiredness after his long run. He'd exhausted his body, working off the edge that he'd felt the whole day. He pulled his headphones out and loosened the phone that was strapped around his upper arm. He jogged up the stairs to their porch, slipped out of his running shoes, and kicked them into a corner next to the door. Mary was home, and he hoped she was in the mood to prepare a tasty dinner. This morning, she'd promised to make him Mom's favorite lasagna for tonight's dish, and oh boy, was he hungry.

He entered his parents' house, inhaling the familiar smell of home. He lived together with Mary, a perfect solution after his parents inherited his grandparents' house, living now only a few minutes' drive down the street.

Steve walked through the living room, heading straight for the kitchen. He tossed his phone on the big table and sighed with relief. The delicious scent of hot cheese and tomato sauce wafted through the cozy room. The sink was a mess, though, filled with used crockery from preparing their dinner. Steve shook his head, irritation rising. Mary was a great cook but terribly chaotic during the work process, leaving a path of destruction in her wake. He was the exact opposite, and they always got into an argument about keeping the shared space tidy. Mary pretended to be deaf when their discussion led them into the dangerous waters of keeping their home chaos-free. Whatever, Steve was too tired to shout for his sister, far too relaxed again to give her another speech. She wouldn't listen anyway, that brat. 

Steve smiled instead and grabbed a Gatorade from the fridge. He swallowed the cool drink with long, thirsty gulps. He sighed thoroughly followed by a low grunt. He was famished, and his leg muscles burned through the afterpain of his merciless workout, providing him with a deep, physical satisfaction. 

Steve gazed through the glass of the oven. "Mary, you outdid yourself. This looks – oh man, this looks scrumptious, so yummy," Steve murmured with a growling stomach, eyeing the two big oven dishes filled with lasagna. 

He perked up his ears, but he didn't hear a single sound. Mary's car stood outside and she kept her promise, so what was she up to? She had to be somewhere in the house. He put the lid back on the bottle and placed it on the kitchen counter.

"Mary? Hey! Where are you?" Steve ran up the stairs to the first floor, calling for his sister, taking two steps at a time. He pulled his sweat-soaked shirt over his head, messing up his damp hair. "Maaary!" He shouted again. "I'm hungry! When's dinner ready? And thanks for keeping your promise!" Steve flung his tee-shirt into the bathroom where it hit the glass door of the shower with a wet thud. The air cooled the sweat on his skin, leaving a slight itch behind.

"I'm here." A muffled voice came out of his bedroom.

Steve furrowed his eyebrows. What was Mary doing in his room? He had an ominous foreboding, and with a glare, he leaned his shoulder against the ajar door to push it open. He looked around, detecting two feet sticking out from his closet. Mary was on her knees, her back arched, ass high in the air. She was digging through his belongings, her head buried somewhere between his shoeboxes and whatever he kept there stashed away.

Steve rushed into his bedroom. "Damn, Mar! What are you doing in there? This is a private space, in case you haven't noticed!" Steve grumbled, his voice sharp, eating up the distance with two wide strides to where his baby sister was crawling around and fumbling with his stuff. He slapped her ass hard with the flat of his hand. "Get out now or I will drag you out with your face rubbing against the carpet!" He insisted with a stern voice, clenching his teeth, biting back his grin.

"OUCH! That hurt, you moron! Go, sit on the bed. I'll be out in a minute." She squealed, kicking a leg up with the hope to hit him, but Steve jumped back and laughed. He hopped on the bed and watched as Mary scrambled to her feet, dragging a shopping bag with her, clutching its handles. 

Steve shot up, cheeks already burning, gazing wildly at the bag. "Mary! _Put that back_! Like right now! NOW!" He leaped forward but Mary was faster, spinning around, holding the bag behind her back and out of his reach. 

"Back off, brother!" She ordered with a high-pitched voice and a girlish little scream at the end. "I made lasagna especially for you. If you want dinner, go, sit down, and listen to me." She giggled, trying to escape his grabby hands. "Don't touch me! You're gross! You stink! You're all sweaty and sticky. Away, _go away_!" She escaped his arms, screaming hysterically and worming her way out from where Steve had cornered her. She staggered onto his bed, pressing the shopping bag to her chest. "Back off, Steven or I'll hurt you!" she shouted between nervous laughter.

Steve snorted loud, hiding his chuckles. The embarrassment gave him a funny taste on his tongue. He was determined to get that damn bag back. _Goddammit, Mary_. How did she know about that thing? "Let go of that bag, Mar." He warned with a dangerous, dark voice. "Or I will come up there and hunt you down and put you in a choke-hold until you give me that damn sack. This is none of your business. I'm not joking. Dinner be damned, you hear me?" he threatened her with his heart far up his throat.

She wouldn't give in, not with the way she watched him, ready to turn the bag upside down to reveal what was inside. Steve paced around the bed, making her eyes gleeful with joy and a glint of fake fear. Mary bounced on Steve's bed, pressed to the wall, screeching between her giggles. She teased him. Her long, blond hair was tousled, and combined with her amused but strained expression, she looked like a fairy who had sniffed too many herbal concoctions.

"Mar, I'm giving you one last warning. Stay out of my business. You owe me one for sneaking around in my closet." Steve had no qualms to wrestle his younger sister on the bed, pinning her down to snatch his belongings from her hands. "You still have a big mess to clean up. How many times do I have to tell you to wash the dishes after you create another kitchen apocalypse?" He tried to distract her.

"Not working, Steve. _Not working_!" She screamed when he jumped onto the bed. 

"Then give me my stuff!" Steve barked, lunging for her ankles. He yanked hard, hands firmly circled around her legs. Mary flopped with a yell onto the bed, shouting and kicking at him, but Steve held on tight, both hands wrapped around her ankles. He was thinking what kind of moves were necessary to get his hands on the shopping bag when Mary turned over in the blink of an eye, twisting her legs, this flexible girl – _fucking yoga_ – and all Steve could do was exhale, not shying away from the inevitable.

Mary snorted with laughter after she turned the bag with a flick of her wrist, skilled and sly, shaking its contents out of its confinement. A heap of black clothes tumbled to the floor followed by a clunk of a belt buckle and some other leather pieces, looking like bracelets. Steve closed his eyes, defeated, and waited for her next move. Mary threw the empty sack onto the floor, fidgeting where she was lying, shooting Steve a look over her shoulder.

"Why did you do that?" Steve let go of her ankles and watched as she scrambled from the bed, turning to face him, beaming victoriously.

"Gotcha!" she announced triumphantly. She stood up, adjusting her rumpled shorts and her t-shirt, eyeing him carefully.

Steve rolled onto his back. His legs dangled from the edge of the mattress. He didn't care that he only wore shorts, still covered in dried sweat from his workout. He placed his forearm over his eyes. Mary didn't need to see how uneasy he felt, but Steve knew his sister; she wouldn't be impressed at all. Sometimes, she didn't respect personal boundaries, adding pressure until she made him listen to what she wanted him to hear, even if he wasn't interested at all, giving two shits about what she had to say. A few seconds later, the mattress dipped, and Mary sat next to him, poking his side with her finger, a heap of clothes in her lap. Steve sighed with theatrical depth.

"Hey, Punk, don't sulk. Let me explain, okay?" Mary started.

"Whatever. Make it quick. I need a shower." Steve huffed.

"I care a great deal about you, Steve, and you've successfully evaded my questions during the whole week. I may be blonde, but I'm not dumb." Mary scooted up to sit cross-legged on the bed.

"I'm trembling with fear. Speeches that begin with such a sentence never mean any good," Steve deadpanned. "Sometimes you're super stupid, Mary, just face it. You still have to pay the consequences for digging around in my privacy." As much as he loved Mary, sometimes she was such a pain in the ass, like right now, when she had him emotionally cornered. Steve hated to be at her mercy, but he didn't want to bolt either. Mary's in-depth pieces of advice always hit home. Oh crap.

"… but as you know, Steve, I added one and one together and I got two. And today, I knew I had to find that damn bag. Because guess what! It's Friday night!" Her voice was cheerful as if anything Steve had just said didn't interest her at all. Steve wasn't liking the way the discussion had turned. 

Uh-oh, she was up to something. Steve knew that much. There was no escaping anyway. He could just as well stay where he was and listen to what she had to tell. He had no idea from where she learned that persuasiveness. But time had taught Steve a few important things; one of them was to better listen to Mary, most of the time she knew him better than he understood himself. And so far, she had always been right.

"Get it over with, Mary. Spill the fucking beans. It's not funny. I'm mildly annoyed and I'm starving, I need a shower, and you know how unpredictable I get with low blood sugar," Steve complained in fake anger. She didn't need to know that he respected her advice. 

"Shut up, Steve." She gave his stretched, taut belly a hard slap and made him jack-knife. He cursed fiercely, giving her the stink eye.

Mary giggled. "Okay, two weeks ago, you spent your Friday night at the club. You came home drunk at five in the morning. I was already up, getting ready for our big day at the surf school. That's when I saw you being sweet and all. I don't see you so loose very often, acting funny and sharing news willingly from your sex/love life. I enjoyed it tremendously. We had a great discussion because I could ask you _anything_ , always getting detailed answers, and it made my freaking day." Mary laughed with a sweet sound at the memory and nudged Steve's calf with her toes. 

Steve grunted. "Please, don't remind me. I had such an ugly hangover afterward. And I don't believe you that I seriously told you anything about my night out. You're so mean to abuse my vulnerable moment. God, you're terribly curious." Steve lay motionless next to his younger sister. He knew exactly why he had been so plastered, and he started to guess where Mary wanted to go with her explanation. His abs tensed, and he thinned his lips.

Damn, why did his sister have to be so clever? Nothing went by her.

"Should I tell you what you spilled in your soused state? Hm-mmm? I know you're dying to know, Punk," Mary hummed with a teasing note.

Steve had enough and punched her thigh hard, making her jump and yell at the same time. He pulled himself into a sitting position where he felt less exposed. "Start talking, Mary or I will walk out on you," Steve simply said, not impressed as she rubbed over the sore spot on her bare skin.

"Gosh, are we moody today? Jesus, enough with the fist punches," Mary grumbled and paused for a moment. "You looked happy, okay? That morning, you looked damn happy! Gushing over 'the man of your dreams' on the dancefloor and that you needed some liquid courage to actually make a move on him. And you ended up drunk instead of hitting on him. But that morning, Steve, even in your shitfaced condition, you should have seen your eyes. Your eyes were on fire, spitting sparks, glowing in the dark. _I swear_. You laughed all the time with this dorky-stupid Cupid-hit-me-with-his-arrow grin on your face. Your excitement swept me off my feet." Mary cleared her throat, staring at a spot on the floor.

As siblings, they were very close, but Steve never talked about emotional heart topics: feelings, heartaches, and difficulties he had to face in his former relationships weren't stuff he wanted to talk about with Mary. 

Steve's heartbeat hurt in his ears, and he didn't even realize that he held his breath. Hearing Mary talking about that special moment after he had seen _him_ for the first time still hurt. And damn you, Mary, to filter every freaking detail from his open soul.

Steve had a hard time pretending their discussed topic didn't upset him. He listened to how she described this meaningful moment that had marked his soul with a sign.

It had branded him.

He hoped the intensity would subside. But still, the scratches on the inside of his skin felt fresh, sensing the surge of swirling emotions, erasing every other imprint on his heart. There was only space for one stupid feeling now, one in which Steve had never believed in. His heart was filled with an incomparable epiphany after he experienced 'love at first sight'. He couldn't believe those crappy, sappy words didn't make him throw up. It still freaked him the fuck out. It was dedicated to a guy he saw for a short amount of time, _from a distance_. He couldn't shake the feeling that something had been woven between them, uncontrollable, without his consent, and he was unable to stop it. 

Steve couldn't forget the magic. It was still roaming through the new paths in his heart, carving deeper with every passing day. He couldn't get rid of it, not even if Steve could cut his heart out. He was waiting for two weeks now. It was still as strong as if it had just happened. It scared him.

Mary's voice came back, piercing his consciousness.

"You even gave me a detailed description of his hairy chest, his muscular arms, and his strong legs. You were stupidly grinning when you said that you could have died on his chest between the fur that grew there. You always called him 'Blondee' with the bluest eyes on earth, and that you're going to make him yours the next time you see him. You didn't know his name, but you said, fuck that, not important." Mary, sweet Mary, twisted the knife in his wounds, cutting deeper.

Steve grunted loud and long, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes. He didn't want to listen anymore. The memory chafed his heart, but he didn't want to hinder Mary from talking either. The last spark of a stupid hope hadn't died yet. That was his only explanation why he didn't bolt from the room, hiding under the cold spray of the shower, hoping to wash away what was hunting him.

"You went shopping that Saturday, and you _hate_ shopping, Steve; except for sports clothes and running shoes. You returned with exactly this bag and after that… _void. Nothing_! And I don't get it, Steve. Monday came, and I don't know? Did you have a fucking mood drop or something?" Mary's hands vividly underlined her words, making Steve curl up into a tensed clot, not able to _not_ listen. "I've never seen you wear something new. I haven't seen you laugh in that special way, either. Just as you've never mentioned that guy one single time after that. You haven't been to the club. Fuck, Steve. What – I mean… _nothing happened! And I don't fucking get it_!"

Mary stopped her speech, out of breath, her face soft and sad. Steve was busy tugging at the tiny hairs growing on his thighs. He couldn't look at Mary. Everything was too intimate, and he didn't know how to deal with it.

"That's why I started looking for the bag and I couldn't find it at first. You deflected every question I've asked, especially when I wanted to know more about this 'Blondee'." Mary dug her fingers into the clothes. "A little help here, Steve? What the fuck is going on?" 

"I hid the bag in the car. I hadn't had any idea what to do with it." Steve murmured between his fingers, chin propped up on his hand, elbow piercing his thigh. His bare foot tapped the floor. "I even considered stashing everything in the trash can." He was nowhere near to be able to explain to Mary what emotional dark fields he was wading through.

Mary grabbed the clothes and held each piece up for inspection. Steve knew exactly what he had bought that day. His neck even blushed. He was about to expose himself, letting Mary know how he had wanted to impress his guy – _his guy_ – damn you, unknown, handsome fucker.

It was a black shirt with a vee-neck, tight-fitting, high cut sleeves to show off his bulging biceps. The black jeans were skinny, worn-out look, with a tear at the backside, to show off a piece of skin from the soft swell of his ass, black leather belt to underline the low-slung cut of the jeans to keep the sharp edge of his hip bone on display.

Mary turned the leather bracelets in her hands. They were broad and black to underline a man's wrist, his forearms, with popping veins and tanned skin. A perfect outfit for a night at a gay bar to cruise around with an excellent, muscled body with a sole aim: for poaching guys and to find a good fuck for the night. But he didn't want to find just a good fuck. Steve wanted to attract the blond guy's attention. Steve knew how to dress to impress. He hid his face in his hands, rubbing over the skin, and fanning his fingers through his hair.

"You've never been back at the club since that night," Mary stated the obvious, casting a side-eye at Steve.

"No." Steve's quipped answer came in a meticulous whisper.

"Why not, Steve? What happened? Don't you want to see him again? You bought these clothes for him, didn't you? You planned to woo him, to hunt him down and make his mouth water when he sees you." 

Steve broke into laughter, hoping his heated cheeks weren't too red. "Hell, Mary, _stop talking_ like this. You're my little sister. I don't want to know how you see me when I'm out in the club. You let it sound as if I'm a wild beast, hunting with my cock. _Shit_. Stop, can we – please, stop right here. This feels _so_ awkward." Steve flopped back onto the mattress. What a fucked-up discussion! He hated it when Mary got too close to this side of his world. 

"Please, Steve. Explain it to me. You're not okay. You seem hurt and I – I just want you to be okay." Mary expressed in a firm voice, pigheadedly not letting go of the topic.

Steve growled and fought an inner battle. " _Well, shit_. Look, Mary, the rules in the gay world are tough. I'm thirty-six and basically an old man, no matter how good-looking I am." Steve paused and gave himself a push. What was there to hide anyway? "An eighteen-year-old asked me last time if I want to be his daddy. Fuck, I'm still shocked. I can't be _that_ old." Steve snorted. "I don't see any reason to go back. In daylight, everything looks different. I had a weak moment, I drank too much that night. That's all. This blond guy might already have a boyfriend or went to the club to hook up with someone." 

Steve wanted to turn away from Mary. _Jesus_ , none of this had ever been his intention to tell his younger sister. But the odd comfort to say it out loud eased the burn in his heart. Steve spilled the last bit. "The club is nowhere near a place to find a guy to fall in love with. No one there is interested in a serious relationship, I guess. Okay? Do you get the picture now? I don't want to go back. There's no reason for that."

There was silence for a moment. Steve manhandled his loose emotions, which were arching up from the far end behind his heart. Mary tugged at the fabric, flattened the pants, and fisted the shirt, giving Steve time to get back on track. She wouldn't go anywhere until he fully explained the 'why'. He scrubbed his hands over his face, tired and disheartened.

"Mary – sorry. I guess it has just dawned on me that I'm getting older. I'm still trying to get used to the thought that I'm not averse to a solid relationship. I had a great moment seeing this blond guy at the club, but it's not worth it. Because I know how it ends – as always in tears, with drama and heartache. Been there, done that. I've had enough of this crap. I'm done talking, Mary. That's all I have to say." Steve's mood hit rock bottom again and the edge he'd worked off while running, was back with full force, blown into a sorrowful humming at the back of his mind.

"I can't figure out why there's nobody out there for you who just searches for the same – to fall in love and to build a life together." Mary talked in her sweet 'even-if-I-am-your-younger-sis-and-I-have-no-idea-how-it-feels-to-be-gay-I-support-you-no-matter-what' voice. "I'd bake you your man if I knew how. I'd bake you your 'Blondee'," she added with a thick voice.

Mary's heart was full of love for him, her older brother – who happened to still be single. He didn't want to share, and even after all those years, it felt totally off to have this discussion with his sister. "Mary, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but I can't talk to you about my romantic life. I don't know what to say. I can't even figure it out myself."

"I get it, Steve. It's okay. You're a great guy, and I just wish you'd find your prince, that's all."

"There are only so many Kawika's running around, and you caught the one and only. Real life always differs from the fantasy world. It always friggin' sucks in one department. It takes two to make things happen, you know?" Steve played with his hair, staring at the ceiling. "I need to get out of the club scene. It's time for a change. And honestly, little sis, it feels awkward to talk with you about that. Can we please stop – talking? – Like about – everything? It freaks me out. But thank you, Mary, for asking." Steve begged, squirming on the bed.

"Yeah, sure. I'm sorry it didn't work out the way you hoped." Mary scooted from the bed and let the clothes drop onto Steve's torso. Steve didn't move when the shirt and the pants were draped over his bare chest.

He could hook up easily for a quick fuck every freaking day of the week. His looks implied the mind of a porn star, but Steve's emotional suit was built from an ancient material. The older he got, the more his heart had a say in everything. His cock had its fill of tight asses and hot fucks. Steve didn't want to conquer moments anymore which lasted only hours. He wanted to taste a hint of eternity; he wanted to experience how 'everlasting' felt. He was ready for the gut-heating notion to know there were years ahead to come. 

Steve was ready for 'together' for the long run. 

He still felt his chest tightening and his heart lodging in his throat when he recalled the first moment he saw the blond on stage dancing.

Normally, Steve got this prickling sensation when he zoomed in on a guy he wanted to bang. The blond had glued him to his seat. Steve had only watched from afar, devouring the sight of his body, and the way this guy moved to the music. Steve's brain cells had been fried during the attempt to keep track of what to activate first. Steve couldn't name any of his emotions attacking him whenever he looked at the strong back of this unknown blond man raving on the dance floor. Something in him had reached out to this man, uncontrolled, set free from a place Steve hadn't had any knowledge off; pawing the ground, eager to be closer and afraid to lose a piece of himself if he couldn't have it.

He didn't dare to approach him. Their eyes had never met. Steve had no idea if the blond had blue eyes; he had just imagined them as blue.

Steve had ended up drunk and lost the blond out of sight. He'd never returned to the club since that evening, too afraid to see him with someone else or to not see him at all. Steve was lovesick, and he couldn't explain why. He was moody, and he started to ask himself big questions regarding life and the sense of living. And everything about that night and the aftermath of these hours made him constantly on edge. He wore himself out with sports but had still not felt better for days on end now.

He flinched hearing Mary's voice. He was deeply absorbed in his pondering.

"And hey, Steve – I don't go through your stuff. This was a one-time thing. I was worried. You were not your usual self over the last days. I apologize, but it was worth it. Now I know what's going on." Mary turned to look at Steve.

Steve answered with a 'don't worry' motion of his hand. "Never mind, Mary. Thank you for wanting to know if I'm okay. You don't have to worry at all. It'll be over soon." Steve sat up, carelessly grabbing the shirt and the rest. He shot Mary an encouraging look. "When's dinner ready?"

"You have half an hour. Kawika and Kono are on their way. I texted them when I've started cooking. I've made enough lasagna for a whole army, enough for all of us, just like mom always does. They'll be here soon." Mary waited. "Go and have your shower." 

Steve stared at the shirt and the jeans lying in a crumpled heap in his lap. "How are the preparations for your wedding going?" Steve rolled onto his stomach and smiled at his sister. She always beamed at him when she talked about her wedding day. Kawika was a great guy. Steve was so happy for them both. They were a match made in heaven and he envied her, having to deal with a hurtful longing when he looked at them. Mary shared this soulmate feeling with her soon-to-be husband, Kawika. He was Hawaiian and was building a home for them by renovating his house for Mary. They would move in there together right before the wedding. 

"I don't know. Everyone keeps it a big secret. All lips are sealed, but I know that Kono and Kamekona are involved in the preparations, too. I only have to choose my dress and the flowers. All the rest will be organized. I'm so nervous, Steve." Mary was aglow with happiness, biting her lips and smiling at him.

"You will have the most wonderful day of your life, Mar. We'll all be there to support you. Kawika won't let anything go wrong. He'll be there to catch you. He's a great man, Mary. I'm so happy for you."

Steve pushed himself off the bed and walked up to Mary. He wrapped her in a short, one-arm hug with his pants and shirt clutched in his hand. "Mom and Dad will return from their trip two weeks before your big day. You'll be safe, little sis," Steve whispered, pulling her in. He knew exactly how the wedding plans were developing, because, _come on_ , he was Mary's big brother. No way in hell he would stay away and not help to plan the most beautiful day for his younger sister.

"Oh! I almost forgot the tell you! Mom called! They arrived in Stockholm. Safe and sound and she's freaking out about the Scandinavian style of furnishing. Dad is afraid they'll have to rent a container to ship all the new stuff to Hawaii." Mary pushed herself off Steve's chest. "Phew, Punk, go take a shower! You stink." Mary scrunched up her nose.

Steve kissed the top of her head. "Don't overreact. It's not _that_ bad. I'm already going. And thank God, I was a bit nervous for them to travel so far. I'm relieved they've arrived safely."

"Yeah. They've always dreamed about a trip through Europe. Mom said she will Skype tomorrow."

"Good. I'll be down in a few minutes. Kawika just arrived. I heard the front door." Steve walked past Mary and shouted a hello down the stairs for Kawika before he closed the door to his bathroom.

Steve urgently needed a few minutes to himself. He showered longer than planned. His stomach was tight with nerves. After Mary forced him to talk about _it_ , the tectonic plates in his soul shifted with no chance to undo the big move. He knew he had to go back to the club, for the sake of his own inner balance.

Steve made up his mind, and when he walked down the stairs, his eyes met Mary's. She only smiled and winked at him, giving her approval for his looks. Kawika held Mary in his arms, leaning against the kitchen counter, sipping a glass of wine. He flashed Steve a bright smile when he walked in on them.

"Hey, brah, you up to something? You look – damn good. You been working out more recently? You're freaking pumped." Kawika put the glass aside and kissed Mary before he walked over to Steve to hug him.

"Hey, Kawika. Nice to see you. I threw in some extra training hours. Let's say I needed it." Steve pressed Kawika to his chest. He was like a brother to him, the best man for Mary he could have wished for his little sister. They'd known each other since high school.

"You look fucking great; planning a fun night?" Kawika slapped Steve's back before he released him.

Steve grabbed a glass of water not able to hide his grin. "Yeah, something like that. Heading for a chill night at the club, easing down from an intense week." Steve hoped to keep a neutral expression, talking casually with Kawika about the surf business and stupid tourists.

Kawika watched him intensely, making a jerky move with his chin and curled the corner of his mouth to a small smile. Mary stepped behind him and looped her arms around her partner's waist. "Let's eat. Kono texted. She'll be here any minute."

The front door burst open and banged shut loudly. A few seconds later and a whirlwind of black hair, tanned skin, and skinny limbs entered the kitchen. Kono's bright smile and her constant great mood was always a light in Steve's days. She never failed to make him smile, lifting his spirits.

"Hi, guys! I'm sorry I'm late, but I had this last customer and go figure! Gosh, he's so hot, and I guess I totally flirted with him! Holy moly! You should have seen him! He's so handsome! Maybe I'm even a bit in love. He wants to learn surfing! Whoo Hoo! He's mine, Kawika, so keep your hands off him! I have my first lesson with him tomorrow and his name is Adam – Adam Noshimuri and – hoy fuck! Steve! Hot damn! You look freaking awesome! Shockingly super-hot! I'd lick you standing up! Fuck!"

Kono's word gush was abruptly interrupted. Her mouth hung open and her eyes bulged. She was gulping and made a show of closing her mouth shut, lost for words when she eyed Steve, taking him in and traveling with her gaze shamelessly from head to toe. "Mary, what's going on? Why does Steve look like he's the new hottie from the latest porno movie? Did you apply eyeliner, Steve? You totally did apply eyeliner. You need a fucking firearm license for your looks." Kono squinted at Steve and stepped closer. "I need a hug. Gosh, please hug me. Why are you looking so freaking awesome? Someone takes the wine, please. Here, Kawika. I need my hands free!"

Kono laughed and handed Kawika two wine bottles she'd carried in both her hands before she turned and stretched her arms wide to invite Steve for a friend's bear hug.

"Shut up, Kono. Really, just shut up. And hello to you, too, nice to see you, too, Kono." Steve pulled his friend in a tight embrace, grinning widely. "Stop talking and thank you. Your compliments are always the best. And for Christ's sake, no! I'm not wearing eyeliner, are you nuts?" He exclaimed a bit edgy, accepting the way Kono wrapped her long arms around him.

"Someone has to give you some compliments. You look smoking hot, Steve! What are you up to?" Kono made some click sounds with her tongue and made Steve turn. "These pants are illegal, Steve, seriously. Where are you going?" 

"A normal night at the club, dancing, shaking loose a tense week. That's all." Steve answered, sitting down at the dinner table where Mary set the table for all of them, dishing out her fantastic lasagna.

"Uh-huh, Steve, and I'm going to groom my unicorn after dinner and take a ride over the rainbow. I'm not stupid, baby. You could easily have your body airbrushed, wearing paint instead of clothes. They hug your perfectly-shaped parts in a seductive manner. Don't talk shit, Steve. You're going to have fun tonight. But at least you have a better mood. I've started to worry about you." Kono sat down and reached for the salad bowl.

Steve was taken aback. He had no idea his mood showed in such an obvious way, worrying his friends. 

"I'm fine, Kono. And yes, I might have something in mind, but that's none of your business. Mary interrogated me already today. My head still reels from that talk." Steve heard Kawika laugh and his eyes met Mary's over the table. She glowed with satisfaction, and he couldn't help but wink at her. 

"Tell us about Adam, Kono. How does he look? Where is he from, and so on." Steve needed a break. Kono was like a tsunami and he didn't want to let her sneak under his skin. Not tonight with his nerves on fire not knowing how his night at the club might end. Luckily, she let go of him and informed her friends about how she met this guy, Adam Noshimuri. He walked into their surf shop a little bit after five this afternoon.

Steve ate two big portions of Mary's dish. He had no intention to get drunk tonight. His wild-beating heart calmed down after one glass of wine. The cheerful chatter with his friends distracted him enough until it was time to leave. Mary made him promise to text her in case he won't make it home tonight. She didn't want to get crazy with worry over where he was. She hugged him briefly before he sat behind the steering wheel, wishing him luck, kissing his cheek.

The best time to arrive at the club was between midnight and one am. The desperate and eager guys waited in front of the door to set foot in the club the moment it opened. The helpless cases always appeared before the night ended, hoping to find someone just as desperate. The secret rulers of the scene came right on time, ready to make the crowd part when stepping onto the stage.

Steve entered at the club at half past midnight.

The club was jammed. Loud music blared from every corner, heating up the atmosphere. The constant pounding of the bass rhythm hitched deep into his core, changing Steve's tune; like a shapeshifter, he adjusted to the roaring beats droning through his body, hooking up with his heartbeat, and pushing him into the right mind space. Steve's eardrums ached for a moment until the chemicals in his cells adapted, changing even his gate; heat mixed with lust pumped through his veins. He could point at the exact moment when he breached the invisible wall, created by all the writhing bodies and the sex-driven brains; all were turned on and ready for the nocturnal hunt, spreading hormone-induced clouds into the air.

Steve felt like an addict finally getting his shot. Fuck, he _fucking_ loved that moment when he stepped into this realm. The inside world of the club cut the connection to real life in a weird way, even if only for a few hours. Steve still hadn't figured out if his normal self was disguised in the club scene or if some parts of his soul clawed their way up to be out for a short amount of time, going wild, at last, taking him on a crazy trip. Fuck, yeah, he loved this incomparable change. He never fought it; he always welcomed it like an old friend. 

The moment he ordered his beer at the bar his predator self surfaced, and his skin felt like a foreign suit: prickling with greed and anticipation; his soul pushed against his chest and his senses reached out into the crowd.

His lips indecently hugged the opening of the bottle. Every move was wooing, no one particular though, just giving a show and putting everything on a silver plate. Because, _fuck_ , let's face it. That was the reason they were all here: to have a fun night, eager to experience exceptional moments and to ride that wave. 

The rush lasted exactly half an hour; just as short as it did the last few times Steve was at the club.

He tasted the stale hint in the back of his throat. This world was one thing for sure: _fake_. Everyone acted with parts of their personalities they wouldn't show outside of those walls. Steve started to loathe the cheap victory when he had drawn someone's attention. The pathetic kick already wore off and Steve felt out of place, chastising himself for being stupid to have even believed in this game. There was this ongoing fight for the crown of the night: to be the hottest guy on stage, to be noticed, and to be the center of the universe for someone else for a short amount of time.

Old habits die hard.

With a bitter taste in his mouth, Steve admitted that he was getting too old for that kind of shit. And his heart was tired, even exhausted.

Steve inhaled, turning around, leaned casually against the counter of the bar, and scanned the scenery on the dance floor. He couldn't complain about lack of attention, but Steve was looking for one person only, _the one_. He lifted his eyes, gazing over all the people. He checked all the faces who stood against the railing on the first floor, watching the dance area and searching for a match and a hookup. It was all about body language and looks, every little twitch could be read as a code. Steve knew how to play the game. Most of the guys lusted for his Alpha vibes, and the heady rush of that power never failed to drug Steve's mind. Embarrassment filled that hollow space somewhere between his stomach and his heart. 

He ignored the sharp disappointment when he hadn't spotted the mysterious blond. The guy was a no-show. Steve hung out at the bar for over an hour, the entrance under a constant surveillance. He was debating over getting piss drunk again, (because seriously, _what the fuck_ ) or leaving. Steve bit his lip. He was being the most oafish, most stupid, idiotic moron to even let himself tumble down that fucking rabbit hole, nourishing this spark that had set his heart on fire exactly two freaking weeks ago. What the hell was he doing? Steve's attitude grew gruffer with every passing minute, blighting every approach from any other guy. Now what? Goddammit!

Steve slammed the empty beer bottle onto the bar and spun around with the intention to head back home, to abort this freaking useless mission. He lifted his head and– 

– there he was.

Steve experienced an out of body moment. The music disappeared into the background as if muffled, and heat as hot as lava exploded right in the pit of his stomach. He might even go blind. He stared at the blond guy, the one he kept dreaming about. Steve stood there like a rabbit sitting in front of a shotgun. He didn't – couldn't – his heart leaped up.

The handsome blond came from the direction of the main entrance. He wore exactly the right look from one of Steve's wet dreams. His clothes were nothing extra fancy: blue jeans, a simple white tee, _a fucking tight white tee_ , and sneakers. Nothing special to get Steve's attention, meaning he wasn't dressed to kill, and that was exactly what was impressively hot. The blond's self-awareness got Steve already in big trouble.

And _sweet Jesus_ – the way this guy walked – _oh, shit_. He swaggered through all the bodies with his puffed-out chest, perky nipples showing clearly under the thin fabric of his shirt. His blond, thick hair was gelled back, and he was facing everyone with this pervasive look on his way into Steve's path. His impressive biceps strained the hem of his shirt's sleeves, veins meandering under the skin of his forearms, beast-like, and his hands were beautifully shaped; there was a clarity to them that made Steve almost arch his back, just standing there.

A longing moan stuck in Steve's throat and he couldn't tear his eyes off this guy.

The blond headed right for the bar, his stance slow and measured – unhurried. Steve's cock turned from soft to straining in seconds, and he leaked, _fucking leaked_ , in his damn briefs as his gaze followed the blond through the crowd – searching for his eyes in order to meet his. 

Steve was nervous. He froze, ogling how this handsome guy ambled towards him. Steve looked at him, hoping to catch his attention. He wanted to see – if – maybe there was this – a recognition, fuck – _anything_. The blond's eyes met everyone else's on his way, except Steve's.

Steve was an eye-catcher, and he looked stunning. He was aware of that fact. But the blond flat out ignored him. He didn't even so much as acknowledge his presence. The guy slotted his hot body between Steve and another man, leaning over the counter, and ordered a beer as if he was a regular. Steve caught the scent of his cologne and closed his eyes overpowered by a painful longing.

He almost gasped in shock when the blond grabbed his beer, shot the young bartender a smile, and just walked off – he fucking _walked off_. Steve could only watch how his gorgeous man, who had gotten so strongly under his skin, was being swallowed by the crowd.

Steve faltered, stung and unable to contain – yeah, what? That it didn't work out the way he wanted? That he didn't get a declaration of love on the fucking spot? He just lost – his groove? His drive? There would always be a time when karma kicked your ass for all the shit you pulled on other guys. Rejection is a bitch, and Steve needed a moment to get his head right.

He turned and ordered two shots of Tequila, knocking them down the second the bartender finished filling the burning liquid into the glasses. Steve bared his teeth, clutching the shot glass in his fist. For the second time this evening, he slammed a glass onto the counter.

He was here to have fun. He was going to have _fucking_ fun, like right _the fuck now_. The afterburn of the alcohol, mixed with the convenient buzz, made it easy to ignore the dull ache hatching in Steve's heart, nesting. He waited another ten minutes, turning the empty glass between his fingers. He ordered two more shots, pouring them down, tilting his head, getting ready for the hunt.

Steve wanted this guy. _Go get him, tiger_.

The dance floor was packed. Steve didn't spot the blond, handsome fucker right away. He would dance, he would wait, and he would lurk. He didn't know how to deal with this pushback, this clear demonstration of a slap in your face, because it never happened to him – until now. Steve wouldn't embarrass himself, though – he wouldn't beg, wouldn't – he wanted – he – _for fuck's sake_!

The tequila did its job, adding the numbing tint to his mood, covering up what tore at Steve's insides. The hard beats of the music got to him; the strobe lights fucked with his vision until he was sucked into this illusion, making him believe everything was possible and nothing was bothering him until he just gave a fuck, moving his body to the music.

At one point, Steve shucked his shirt, stuffing it in his back pocket, letting it hang out, who fucking cared anyway. The sweat ran in rivulets down his spine and over the swell of his impressive pecs. His hair was damp, strands stuck to his forehead and he raved with the writhing bodies, rubbing at everyone and nobody, lost to the outer world, in desperate need to numb his mind, to forget to – 

A bare chest pressed up against Steve's body. He gasped and inhaled to get the stutter under control. There was only a short hiccup in his moves. He didn't stop, but intensified the enticing circles of his hips, gyrating leisurely. Steve leaned back into a slab of strained muscles – _Jesus_. Steve felt the hairy chest scratching roughly over his wet skin. He noticed hands with searching fingers, crawling over the dips of his abs, digging into his flesh, kneading. Steve held his breath when the hard-on of the guy behind him rubbed over his ass, hot and persistent, pressing between his cleft – making a statement.

Steve let his head fell back onto the guy's shoulder. He had to know who – _he had to_ – and with a sharp turn, he spun around to find himself held by strong arms and his eyes stared directly into blue ones. Steve gulped air, falling, falling, falling – inches away from his blond guy who watched him with an unreadable, complicated look, not even casting him a smile. He let Steve get his fill before he turned him rudely around, moving him like a rag doll, to press his straining cock right back against Steve's ass.

Steve's mind raced, knowing he had made his decision before his brain caught up.

_He had a fucking topper standing behind him, rolling his bulge into his ass, heating him up._

Steve hardly ever bottomed, hadn't for years, not since college. But there he was, arching his ass to search for the bulge in the blonde's pants, wanting to feel the blonde's hard cock teasing his ass, filling him up with a needy want, messing with him and his uncertainty, asking if he was ready for this, ready to be fucked. The mysterious blond was asking Steve if he was willing to go down that road – to bottom – for him.

Letting someone breach his body, fucking his asshole, meant letting this person into his soul, admitting feelings. He – he wasn't – he wasn't ready. Steve shivered in the guy's arms. He stopped dancing for a moment, but there was no escape now – not anymore.

Steve mentally made that significant step over his own safe line, and he was free falling without a parachute when he decided to let the guy in. Steve was scared, but such a turned-on mess at the same time with no hope of controlling any of it. Steve gave up and let the blond take the lead, settling the non-verbal question of whether Steve was ready to get fucked or not. Steve answered with his hips. It was a clear 'yes'.

An eternity of time flew by and Steve's senses were solely focused on the guy behind him. The noise carpet of the music made him boneless putty in the other man's hands, which were sliding up his chest, playing with his nipples, tweaking, caressing, holding. Steve felt stubbles burn his skin, scratching over his shoulders, and hot lips were kissing his heated skin, were biting his skin at the nape of his neck. Steve whimpered, unheard, and his moaning drowned beneath the pounding music. The blond didn't allow him to turn around again. Their hips were glued together, moving as one. Steve felt the thick, hard cock of his man. They were rubbing against each other, held upright by the enchanting, mind-boggling atmosphere of the club, the music and the vibes of all others.

Steve broke a bit more when the blond palmed his raging hard cock through his jeans. He slumped against this brick wall of a chest, hairy and raunchy. He was so turned on and totally at the mercy of this unknown guy who was capturing his heart inch by inch with every minute ticking by. Steve felt safe, felt – fucking chopped raw, but he wouldn't want to stop – for the love of God, may this moment last a lifetime and then some.

Steve lost track of time. He was dreaming, but he also knew that this was exactly just a game, to get what was on the menu every fucking night in the club: a fuck for one night, the illusion of sharing feelings, to unite for a short amount of time.

Steve wasn't willing to do that to himself anymore. He was falling hard for this blond man. He was brutally honest with himself. It got him bad, and he lost his heart to the stranger. Steve couldn't just do a one-night stand anymore. He wasn't strong enough to endure the loss afterward, not with this blond, handsome man. He had no idea how he would heal from that, from this opening up – he had freely offered to bottom, and it was so reckless. He knew he couldn't hold his feelings in check when someone he had feelings for entered his body. Steve was not strong enough to patch his heart back together after that, he wasn't – not this time.

The mood in the club changed drastically. In one moment, they were all safe, wrapped up in music, strobe lights, and dimly lit darkness until reality slapped them all in the face – _hard._

It was six in the morning. The music abruptly stopped, and the big, disturbing lights went on, bathing the club in brutal realness. A faceless voice blared through the speakers: "Okay folks! That's it! Closing time! Have a good one! See you tonight!"

Steve stumbled back, punched right in the gut by the fist of reality. He stood rooted to the spot. The guy's arms loosened their grip around his waist, fingertips grazing over his skin, and Steve let his head fall forward onto his chest.

The pressure rose in his heart until he couldn't keep it together. Steve bolted, elbowing his way through similarly stunned guys. No one was ready to go home, to step out into the morning sun, and get a glimpse at another burst dream.

No one called after him. No one ran to catch up with him. The hurt about this realization cut deep. Steve pushed the main door open, greeting the bouncers, and hastily pulling his shirt over his head. He stepped out in the bright morning light blushed by a beautiful sunrise that snapped him finally out of his haze. He panted hard, not quite successful at pushing down his churned-up emotions. _Fuck, shit, fuck._ What had he done? How – oh, shit.

He fumbled for his car key in his front pocket. He was still hard. _Fuck that_. Steve was unsure how much alcohol was still left in his system. His stance was unsteady, but not so much because he felt drunk. Well, shit. The soft sunlight was kind to his burning, over sensitive eyes. He'd call a cab. This was way safer than to drive home. Steve hissed curse words through gritted teeth. His jittery nerves made his fingers tremble. He fumbled through his glove compartment, searching for his phone. He inhaled when he'd finally found it and locked his car. He spotted the two cabs pulling up onto the parking lot right in front of the club.

How convenient. The cab drivers knew that there was always the chance to make good business when another club night ended. Steve checked the money in his pocket and hailed for one of the cabs. He didn't shoot one glance back to the main entrance. He swallowed hard, throat constricted and aching. Yeah, he knew he was a coward, fleeing the scene like a criminal. His drive to hook up with the blond, beautiful guy was pulverized by this onslaught of emotions that attacked him fiercely. He felt ambushed and still couldn't get a grip on all the feelings. His fucking hands were still shaking, and he huffed a pathetic sound, fanning a hand through his hair.

Steve only wanted to go home and bury himself under his covers, spending all day in his fucking bed, hiding from the world. The cab stopped right in front of him, and Steve pulled the back door open. He was about to get in when an arm looped around his waist, pulling him in and holding on tight, hindering him from climbing into the car. Steve almost jumped out of his skin. He hadn’t heard shit. He flinched hard.

"Where are you going, sweetheart? And why did you run away?" His blond guy was hugging him possessively, his grip like iron, leaving no doubt what he wanted. Steve's knees buckled, and he closed his eyes shut. He would have stumbled against the car if his dreamboat hadn't held him firmly tucked against his chest.

Steve braced his hands against the roof of the car, hesitantly turning his head to finally, finally get a better look at his guy. He drowned in blue eyes and the most gorgeous smile he had ever seen. Steve wouldn't have been surprised if he had just burst into tears. Life was a motherfucker.

"I – um, I'm heading home?" Was that really his voice?

"No, you're not. And I'm Danny, by the way." Danny kept smiling, cocking his head, tucking his chin over Steve's shoulder, watching his face. Steve felt his breath ghosting over his cheek. Danny's fingers, which were digging into his abs, were caressing the skin under his shirt, circling, searching – driving Steve freaking _crazy_. Danny was wrapped around him like a cozy blanket, causing Steve to feel – safe, rescued. Steve couldn't fucking _inhale_.

Steve rubbed hard over Danny's front when he turned in his arm, collecting his pathetic courage. He reached for Danny's face, cupping his cheek with an unsteady hand. He had no idea what his face was doing, but Danny's eyes widened. Steve made a head dive into a universe he didn't know existed. The enormousness of feels that ran havoc in his system frightened him. He had no clue what to do! He fell against Danny's chest because Danny pulled him even closer, their mouths only inches apart, not giving Steve the tiniest possibility to back off. Danny was observing him closely, roaming his tender gaze over Steve's face.

"I'm old." Steve blurted, averting his eyes, because – seriously? What kind of a crappy pickup line was that?

Danny's soft laugh rumbled through his torso. It was the most adorable sound Steve had ever witnessed. "That's a fucked up name, man. Your folks had to be baked like freaking potatoes to choose such a shitty name." Danny's laugh was like an angelic voice in Steve's ears, and he wanted nothing else but to bury his head in Danny's muscular neck. He wanted Danny to tell him that everything would be okay and that he would never leave Steve again. He felt shame to even think such sappy shit and at the same time, his yearning was killing him softly. His eyes stung, but he wouldn't. No, he _wouldn't_!

"You're coming with me, Imold, okay?" Danny whispered seductively in his ear.

Steve didn't move. His fingers clamped down at the side of Danny's shirt, stretching the material. He ducked his head, brushing his forehead over Danny's bulky shoulders. He screwed his eyes shut, excluding his surroundings, every one of his reflexes was trained on Danny's body, his way of holding him in his arms, on this storm racing through his heart.

"Hey –" Danny grazed his lips over Steve's ear.

"Hold me." Steve croaked, lost, without any chance to get his grip back.

The cab driver grew impatient and barked from behind the steering wheel. "Do you want a ride, or do you don't want a ride, guys? I have business to do. Decide or I'll move on!"

"We'll take the cab. Calm down, dude. Here, keep the meter running. You're hired." Danny dug up a dollar bill and tossed it through the window onto the passenger seat. Steve was impressed. Danny didn't let go an inch, hugging Steve with a determination that took his breath away.

"Get in the car, sweetheart." Danny's hand found its way around Steve's neck and Steve melted even more into Danny's hold. "I'll take you home. You okay with that, Imold?"

Steve heard the smile in Danny's words. "Steve – my name's Steve." His lips tasted Danny's skin for the first time, grazing over his throat. He exhaled as if he ran miles and miles.

"Get in, Steve." Danny's hoarse voice went straight to Steve's cock. The way he said his name – Steve didn't know if he was strong enough to endure what was coming, letting Danny take him home.

The taxi took off. Danny told the driver his home address, but Steve didn't listen. The situation was so trivial, driving in a cab, but Steve felt defeated, boneless, and needy. The mess in his chest grew bigger, swallowing him like a black hole. It felt like drowning and being born at the same time. He was scared Danny would kick him out at the next curb because he was almost listless, just hanging in the corner of the backseat of the cab. Steve was wringing his hands. His attention was back on Danny when he leaned forward and handed the cab driver another twenty-dollar bill.

"Watch the streets and keep driving, okay?" The driver nodded and ignored that he even had passengers in his car.

Steve caved at the revealing of this simple act. Danny had to be used to taking guys home, tipping the driver off to look the other way when their make out started right after they got in. Steve hated the stinging bite of the jealousy that was tearing through his stomach. He turned his head and watched the street. He had no fucking right to have such emotions. No _fucking reason_ to be jealous.

"Steve, what are you doing over there? Move over, sweetheart." Danny rasped, thick and sweet like honey. He grabbed the back of Steve's neck and made him turn his head.

Steve acted on reflex. Danny was inside his head, his soul, he even heard him talking like an echo in his mind. Danny's eyes weren't cool and collected. They were fucking blown wide, showing sensibility, hope, and alertness, and Steve was drawn to them like a lost ship to a beacon. He needed to be close to Danny, needed to turn his gaze into something steady and light. He wanted to be the reason why Danny's eyes changed. Steve wanted to be the reason for Danny's eyes to shine like the blue of the Hawaiian sea.

He crawled into Danny's lap. Steve's hand dug up into Danny's thick, soft hair. For a fraction of a second, their eyes locked and Steve swore he could hear Fate latch into place before he sank into Danny's lips. He moaned longingly, tasting the wet in Danny's mouth, rubbing his tongue over Danny's – greedy, wanton, unable to stop. Their noses were mashed against their cheeks. Steve tore at Danny's shirt to pull him closer, sucking at his lips, licking into every corner of Danny's mouth, drinking his taste.

Danny's low groans raced down Steve's spine. His cock strained against his abs, hot and thick and wonderful.

"Jesus, Steve. You're so fucking beautiful. I couldn't take my eyes off you. You're mine – mine." Danny chanted compliments between their kissing.

His hands were all over Steve. He pushed his hips up, rolling into Steve's bulge, pulling a strangled moan from his lips. It was uncomfortable in the tiny space of the backseat of the cab, but Steve didn't care. He hadn't been this turned on since high school. His hands slipped underneath Danny's shirt and he fucking lost it when his fingers carded through the soft fur on Danny's chest. Steve's breath was ragged. His lips were parted, glistening from spit, and Danny sucked and bit down on his lips, kissing and licking around his mouth. Steve's mind was hazy from Danny's filthy kisses. Steve's lips were fierce and needy, kissing Danny back with hot desire while he ran his hands over Danny's impressive, bulky chest. He shuddered apart when he flicked both his thumbs over Danny's puckered nipples and Danny's fingers painfully grabbed the flesh of his back, squashing his muscles, expressing how fucking turned on his was. Danny's tongue was about to touch his tonsils while Steve got a taste of the hard, impressive size of Danny's cock grinding up on him.

Their clothes were terribly messy when they got out of the cab. Their lips were red and stubble burn showed on both their chins and their throats.

Danny reached for Steve's hand and pulled him up onto a nice and inviting white porch. There was a tiny second where panic rocketed through Steve's system. He heard the front door close shut and then – nothing. Silence, two strangers who'd just met were locked in a private space, at home – in deep privacy. Steve gulped air, eyes turning hot, and he darted his gaze around the cozy looking house. His thoughts shocked him even more. He wanted to be familiar with this home, wanted to know he was welcome. He drew in desperately-needed air and swung his head around only to find Danny. He was already watching him, guarded but relaxed at the same time.

"I want to fuck you, Steve." Danny's demand played with Steve's sanity. His throat was jammed with words he wasn't allowed to utter, shutting his airways off.

Steve nodded, devotion in every move. He waited, shocked at the submissive power that took a hold of him, pushing his free will into a corner, so foreign and unknown – too welcome to feel odd. He drew a soundless breath, his eyes unsteady, not able to really look back at Danny's handsome face. Steve's stomach was in knots, his cock painfully hard, throbbing. He was a fucking mess.

"I need a shower first. I’m sweaty and I'm – I haven't cleaned myself – not properly—in the way a bottom should be prepared. I – " Steve's words got lost on their way out. He couldn't form an easy sentence. He felt the embarrassment creep over his cheeks. He crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"I don't care, Steve. It doesn't matter to me, the thorough cleaning. I want your ass. I want you – in my bed, spread out only for me – for my eyes only." Danny's voice was tender, caring, hiding something Steve couldn't filter from between the open space around the words.

Danny's soft hands stroked up and down Steve's upper arms, moving further up and slipping to the back of his neck. Danny's hands traveled back down to rest hot and secure on Steve's ass. His fingers softly dug into his cleft, pressing his jeans a bit in between. Danny kissed him determinedly, possessing his lips and diving in with his tongue, lazily swirling around in his mouth.

Steve's vision went blurry. He closed his eyes while his heartbeat raced off. He was scared; not because he couldn't take Danny's cock up his ass, but for the other part – the emotions which Steve knew he wouldn't be able to control. Not this time. He looped his arms around Danny's neck to pull him closer, losing himself in the wetness and softness of Danny's kisses.

When Danny pulled back, checking up on him, Steve nodded affirmatively. Danny wanted him. He wanted Danny to have him, hoping he could save his soul from bursting into shreds of broken hope. He knew he wouldn't be the same after Danny was done with him.

Danny shoved him into the direction of the bathroom. Steve kept his eyes stubbornly straight ahead. He didn't ask anything personal. He couldn't bear to look at the pictures in their frames, placed on different surfaces in the house.

Danny undressed him and always slapped his hands away when Steve wanted to help. Their kisses grew sloppier, wet and full of tongue. Danny's praising words showered his chafed heart. Danny's lips were always on Steve's skin, kissing bits and pieces, his salty, sticky skin, licking wet stripes over his throat, sucking hard at his nipple, forcing him to groan and writhe and behave like a fucking slut, stripped bare from any shame.

Steve's cock jutted out the moment Danny pulled his briefs all the way down to his ankles and made Steve step out of them. He watched Danny pressing his briefs to his face, eyes closed, expression peaceful, glowing even while he inhaled deep of the musky scent clinging to the fabric that had hugged Steve's ass, his balls, and his cock during the whole evening.

"Danny – " Steve grabbed the edge of the sink behind his back with both hands. This incredible guy drove him nuts with what he was showing Steve. It was far too intimate, far too deep into an area that had nothing to do with a quick fuck after a club night. "Danny, what are you doing? Can you – could you stop that?" Steve begged.

"Why should I, Steve? Does it gross you out? Me sniffing your briefs?" Danny's fingers plucked at his chin and forced him to look up, forced him to look into Danny's eyes.

The heat was scorching hot between them. The blue of Danny's eyes covered Steve in cotton as soft as clouds, and he murmured something, hiding the whimper. "No, not gross, just – unusual, so different, too intense." He mouthed huskily.

Steve's gaze scratched over Danny's body, his hairy arms, his strong, muscular thighs, and his chest covered in blonde, thick fur. Yes, it was true. He could fucking die on that chest. Steve's mouth went instantly as dry as the Gobi Desert when Danny pulled his boxers down, freeing the veiny beast between his legs. _Fuck_ – that cock! Steve stared with fascination while shudders of lust shook him. Danny's sack hung heavy between his thighs. He had thick, impressive pubic hair.

"Jesus, Danny." Steve breath was heavy with lust and he all but sank to his knees, digging his fingers into Danny's taut hips. "Can I?" Steve looked up from under his lashes to ask for permission, lips parted, saliva flooding his mouth. The intense scent from Danny's cock made his eyes roll back into his head. Steve waited.

"Yes, please, fuck yes." A broken sound filled the small bathroom, and for the first time, Steve heard the cracks in Danny's voice.

Steve took in Danny's fat, uncut dick; his eyes glued to his crotch, his hands pressed flat to Danny's taut abs, rubbing over his smooth skin, scratching with his fingertips through his pubes. Steve watched how Danny's plump cock jerked under his ministration. Steve only opened his mouth wider, darting the tip of his tongue into the direction of Danny's head. A silky smear of precum showed in his slit.

Danny hissed, drawing in air through his teeth. "Oh, baby, yes – oh my God. Steve – " Danny took his cock in hand, jacking it two, three times before he stepped closer. Danny milked his first drop of precum from his cock. The bead hung on a silky string before it landed on Steve's tongue. Steve didn't move, and Danny stepped up, smearing the natural lubricant with the head of his cock over Steve's lips, breathing raggedly, his hand on Steve's shoulder and gripping it so hard he would have left bruises before he fed his dick to Steve, shoving it into his open mouth.

"Fuck, Steve, _fuck_. You look so fucking hot. Oh, yeah – baby – " Danny's words were flat, too fast, too hoarse.

Steve's groan vibrated in his throat, and he jerked Danny's hips forward and swallowed Danny's cock, too fast and too deep. He coughed and sucked and sputtered. The sharp scent of cock and precum and the sweat-soaked pubic hair exploded on his taste buds. His jaws were stretched wide. Steve opened his mouth up and began to bob his head experimentally. His hands were digging into Danny's tight ass. Danny was fucking beautiful, and Steve experienced heaven on his knees while sucking Danny's cock.

Danny let him swirl his tongue over the silky length, suckling at the head, dipping his tongue into the slit and wiggling a bit before a sharp growl interrupted his blow job. Fingers tugged roughly at his hair, and Danny pulled him off his cock which was now wet and smeary with Steve's spit. "Get in the shower, darling. I don't want you on your knees blowing me. I want to fuck you, I want your ass. God, Steve – do you have any idea how beautiful you are?"

Steve obeyed without saying a word. Danny pulled him around to kiss him with soft, hot lips, licking slowly over Steve's mouth, chasing the flavor. He moaned into Danny's demanding lips, their bodies pressed together, cocks brushing against the other, making both men gasp with arousal.

Steve stepped into the shower, not noticing any other detail. Not the color of the shower curtain, not the color of the towels, not if there were two toothbrushes stuck in the glass near the sink. He didn't want to know. Steve needed to sink into this moment, holding up this stupid fairytale that he was Danny's for this short amount of time. There were only the two of them, belonging together, having each other. The hard, naked truth was going to tear him to pieces soon enough. Steve felt it, the ache, rising from his bones. But not yet, not now. Now Danny was his, and his alone.

"You're not much of a talker, are you?" Danny adjusted the shower head and pressed up against Steve, kissing his back, rubbing his straining cock between his ass cheeks.

"No – do you want me to talk?" Steve's words were oddly detached from his body. He was scared to talk because he might say things that didn't belong there. Words that could destroy the mood. He took what Danny was giving him. Everything else was a stupid, fruitless hoping.

"I don't know. Are you okay, Steve? With what we're doing? Are you okay with me wanting to fuck you?" Danny's tenderness was sweet and painful at the same time. The water soaked them, flattening their hair, running down their bodies.

It was borrowed time, and Steve hated to think like that. He hated to feel all the rest, this fucking intense ball of emotions that had never shown up so far. And now he was under fire, on-going, not knowing how to stem against the love in his chest reaching out for this blonde, handsome man behind him. Steve swallowed the sob, the splattering of the water drowning out the sound.

"I'm fine, Danny. I'm good. Yes, I want you to fuck me." His words sounded as raunchy as he felt. He arched his back to show Danny how serious he was.

"Steve – " Danny's hands lathered him with a lemon-scented shower gel.

Steve had never been washed so thoroughly by another man. Danny made him spread his legs to wash between his cheeks, rubbing his fingers up and down his crack. Steve bent, hands not steady on the slippery tiles, but he wanted Danny's touch – needed to feel his searching fingers _so much_. His hard cock was nudging against his abs.

"Unngg – Danny, oh god, please – _oh fuck_ – " Steve, groaned, face flushed. He pushed back to let Danny's finger breach his ass, passing the tight ring of his hole. His legs shook with the white pleasure that was punching his gut. The sweet ache in his balls let Steve arch his back even further, balancing on the tip of his toes. The wave of passion ate him alive, searing his intestines; he couldn't hold back the strangled cry elicited by the shock of honest to God lust racing in his veins. He forgot how it felt to bottom, how sensitive his rectum was, how responsive. He would fucking turn to _ashes_ when Danny's cock would rock his hole.

He moaned ongoing with Danny's finger in his ass, slowly pumping in and out. "Steve, baby – Steve, you're so beautiful, and fuck, so tight. God, I love how your ass eats my finger. When was the last time you bottomed?" Danny's tongue licked broad stripes over the small of Steve's back. He pressed his face into his skin, rubbing into him like a cat, covering him with his scent, while the hot water still poured down on both.

Steve was game for everything Danny wanted to do to him. He didn't recognize himself. He gulped air into his lungs, moaning like he was starved for touch. He ignored Danny's question.

"Danny, oh fuck – Danny, go on, don't you fucking stop." Steve panted hard. He loved Danny's hand rubbing his dripping wet back, soothing him, just being there and making sure Steve was okay. His cock was hard, strained with popping veins; the head beautifully tight, almost parting his slit. His cock was pumped full and hungry for Danny's hands and his mouth. His ass was greedy. He loved the soft burn when Danny added a second finger, moving and touching his inner walls, stroking there, making him tremble, turning him into a begging mess.

"Come on, baby. Let's head to the bedroom. I don't want to spend too much time in the shower." Danny's finger stayed buried in Steve's ass a moment longer before he pulled them carefully and slowly out. He turned off the water. The silence was deafening and for a brief amount of time, Steve was disorientated.

"Get out, darling." Danny kissed him. He always had one hand in Steve's hair, making Steve feeling important, presenting him with a notion of belonging. The slippery sensation of freshly showered skin on skin was like ecstasy soaking through Steve's brain.

Danny watched him warily while he dried himself off.

"You don't really look at me, Steve. Are you sure you're okay?" Danny suddenly asked, standing there with his towel in midair, stopping abruptly. He schooled his features well, but Steve could tell Danny was insecure about the part Steve was playing.

Steve gave himself a hard push. He wanted this to be good for both of them. His inner struggle was none of Danny's business. He wanted to have good sex with Danny, for Danny, drowning in desire and debauchery.

"I'm fine, Danny, seriously. I'm good." He looked him square in the eye and smiled, because of – Danny? He was so handsome it actually hurt. He was hot as fuck with his hard-on standing proud and ready. He leaned in to kiss Steve filthily. "What do you want me to do?" Steve asked between Danny's lips, tumbling backward, his arms circled around Danny's strong back muscles, rolling his hips into Danny's hard-on.

Danny retrieved a bottle of lube from a drawer and shoved it into Steve's hand. "I want you to finger yourself open. Get ready for me. I want to watch you."

Steve closed his eyes, swaying on the spot. "In which position do you want me?"

"The one you feel comfortable in." Danny simply answered.

"Okay," Steve mouthed, gaze already casting down onto the lube in his hands. He could fucking do this without too much damage. He could. He would. Steve walked out of the bathroom without pressing a kiss to Danny's lips. He felt bad the moment he realized it.

His face skidded over Danny's pillow. Steve wasn't able to keep still. He undulated his skin in Danny's scent, rubbing, writhing, working himself into a heat that was strange and painfully welcomed at the same time. He rocked back and forth on three of his lube coated fingers. His groans were roughening his vocal cords, but he couldn't stop.

Steve had chosen doggie style, because facing Danny while he boarded his body with his cock, piercing his soul – this would make him spill all his emotions and worse. Steve knew he couldn't hold his heart in check; he barely had his muscles under control, shuddering with anticipation and a slight panic, because the last time he bottomed – fuck, that was years back and it didn't end well. He had never even considered presenting himself like this to any other guys since: ass high up in the air, his hole fluttering loose around his intrusive fingers, played by a power he didn't understand but followed despite it. _And it felt so good_.

Steve tried to spread his knees wider, his lower back almost sagging to get the highest angle possible. His cleft was wide open, presenting Danny the best view of his asshole stuffed with his fingers. A sheen of sweat covered his skin, his forehead dampened Danny's pillow cover. His other hand pressed up against the wall to find some sort of hold. His hard cock was a leaking mess between his legs, jerking, and with the head red and swollen.

Danny's moans and soft praises undid him more the longer he worked himself open – for Danny. He heard the familiar sound of foil ripping open and the rolling of a condom over a cock.

"Steve – oh god, Steve," Danny's voice sounded wrecked, sending Steve's heart spiraling out of any known rhythm. "Look at you. You're so fucking beautiful, doing this all to please me. Steve – oh, Steve. Fuck – "

Steve felt the dips of the mattress when Danny climbed onto the bed. The touch of his hand burned Steve's ass and a shiver ran through him. "You ready for me, darling?" Danny cooed, his hand on Steve's hip, shuffling between his wide stance, nudging his knees even more apart. Steve did whatever Danny wanted from him, feeding on every term of endearment Danny called him.

"Yes, Danny. I'm good, ready for your cock." Danny made him pull his fingers out, watching, stroking his back.

Steve was a wreck, and they haven't even started yet. He gasped, and his next moan was a garbled sound when he felt Danny's impressive girth sliding between his cheeks. Both his hands fisted the sheets now. He needed to fucking hold on to something. His hot breath was swallowed by the cotton of the pillowcase. Steve moaned and pushed back to feel more of Danny's beautiful, hard cock. He wanted him so badly it frightened him.

"How do you want me to do this?" Danny hoarse voice whispered in his ear, his broad chest glued to his back. Steve felt the fur and all the sweat on Danny's skin. He didn't dare to lift his head, to watch over his shoulder, or to steal a kiss from Danny. He – he wanted to be like this, making Danny faceless, not letting him see how much this encounter really meant to him.

Danny waited, and Steve lifted his face, sweaty and red, talking to the pillow. "Just push in, take your time – I need – to adjust. I – uhm, it's a while back since the last time I bottomed."

"Okay, Baby, whatever you need is good for me. Tell me if you want me to stop." Danny pressed a kiss behind Steve's ear, making everything worse with the way he wanted Steve to feel good and comfortable, safe. Danny made him feel safe, wanted – precious. Steve's head fell forward, face buried in the pillow once more.

Danny didn't just shove his cock up his ass. He was – he did – Steve leveled his breathing, shutting down his emotions, cursing inwardly. Danny kissed a wet line down his spine, his hips rolling, rubbing his rubber-coated cock up and down his cleft, teasing his loose hole. His hands wandered from his flanks forwards to knead his pecs, playing with his nipples, making Steve shudder apart with every breath he drew into his lungs. He wasn't sure if a stray tear mingled with the sweat from his forehead. The longing was like torture – the longing to have a right to call Danny 'his'.

The wide stretch followed by the hot burn was welcomed. Steve's groans were boxed out of his ribcage with every inch Danny pressed into him. Steve had completely forgotten how it felt to be filled. His ass was stretched wide as if a tree trunk was stuffed up his hole. _Holy shit_. Danny was halfway in and both gasped excessively.

"Fuck, Steve. Oh baby, you feel so good. Are you okay? Steve? Are you good? Fuck - "Danny's grip hurt Steve. He welcomed every pain, erasing every other feeling from his mind.

"Gimme some time – to adjust. _Fuck_. You're big." Steve chuckled and immediately clenched down on Danny's cock the moment he realized Danny wanted to pull out. "Don't you _fucking_ dare, Danny! Don't – don't, babe, stay – please stay. Gimme a moment." Steve rasped, taken aback by the pet name he just called Danny.

Danny's finger dug even deeper, marking his skin with bruises and Steve heard him inhaling. "I don't want to hurt you."

"You aren't. Stay. I'm good. Keep pushing." Steve confirmed.

Steve's head lolled back onto the pillow when Danny's balls nudged against the pads of his ass. Steve felt Danny's cock up to his throat. His insides were being stretched and his body wasn't ready yet to really let go. His gut was cramping, and he had to breathe through the painful part. Danny's hands were soothing, supporting him through.

"You're doing great, baby. It's amazing, shit. Steve, you feel awesome, tight, so fucking tight – and hot. You're so beautiful, baby, so beautiful." Danny was chanting for him, holding him tight, being with him every step of the way.

Hot desire shot up Steve's spine when his body finally gave in and started to hug Danny's cock, milking it with soft waves. Steve could only breathe with an open mouth. He forgot about his hard-on between his legs while his ass tried to swallow Denny's cock, but everything roared to life at the same time. Steve inhaled like a drowning person searching for air, with his cock as hard as a rebar, smeared with precum.

Danny pulled him up, forcing him to be on all fours and not allowing him to hide his face in the pillow. Steve threw his head back and had a shot at rocking back, deeper onto Danny's cock. Lust – hot, devouring lust bloomed from his ass.

He started begging, not recognizing his own voice.

"Danny, please, Danny, move, do something – oh babe, you feel amazing – I want – I need – Danny, pleasepleaseplease – "

"I'm here, darling. I'm here. I've got you. C'mon, darling, I've got you."

Danny's voice was like a light in the dark, and Steve followed it blindly. The first thrusts were careful, slow, awkward, unsteady. Steve didn't care. He was trying to tame the spirit which was unleashed by the way Danny's cock was deeply pushed up his ass.

Nothing was more important than this very moment. Steve moaned and emitted embarrassing sounds, turning wild under the steadier pushes from Danny. His ass was loose, soft, and willingly taking Danny's perfectly timed strokes.

"You okay, baby?" Danny asked after every thrust.

"Oh, Danny, I'm so good. I'm ready for more – give me more, babe." Steve knew Danny dug his knees into the mattress to find the best stance and after he pulled his cock almost out, leaving only the head to stretch his hole, he growled a cry when Danny slammed back in. "Oh _fuuuuck_ , Danny – oh, god." Steve panted. He couldn't decide if he wanted to grab his cock to jerk off or if he just wanted to keep all his attention on Danny and the way he was fucking him.

"Fuck me, Danny. Fuck me hard. Make me feel it." Steve whispered, turning his head only a bit, not ready to watch Danny. Not ready to share any other intimacy than their physical connection.

Danny's answer was a hard bite to his back. Steve shouted, his voice raw when Danny's teeth dug deep into his flesh.

Danny's hips snapped and bucked until they found a wild, violent rhythm. Steve felt pain mixed with lust until it was only searing desire filling him up, blinding his vision. His hands were braced to the wall. Danny was ruthless the way he hammered Steve's ass, making him gag on air and spit. He was hissing and moaning but he didn't want him to stop.

"Baby – baby. Fuck, I'm close, not going to last – not for long – baby – " Danny panted, breathing a hard staccato, holding Steve's hips in a vice grip.

Steve was beyond the possibility to talk. His bones were melting, the heat was gathering in his balls, everything was strung tight, ready to burst. He teetered on the edge. Steve kept one of his hands braced against the wall, hindering Danny from shoving him higher up the bed. He wrapped one hand around his painfully hard cock. The sensation was almost too much. He jerked off with short, tight pumps.

"Steve, baby, I'm coming – " Danny's voice was terribly soft before he rammed his cock as far up as Steve's ass as possible, before Steve felt the twitching of Danny's hard length, pumping his seed into the condom, stretching the walls of his channel even more.

Danny covered Steve's back with his upper body, kissing his sweat-dampened hair at the back of his neck, rubbing his thighs, rocking his hips in shallow, ongoing pushes into Steve's ass, stroking his rectum, causing him inexpressible pleasure, just waiting for Steve to fall off the edge.

Steve came hard, staining Danny's sheets. It was a difficult dance between a feeling of relief, shouting in pure lust, or moaning with some pain – because – fuck, this orgasm – _what the fuck was that_? He was ripped fucking apart and it didn't end. His cock shot white strands of cum over Danny's bed, and Steve couldn't stop choking his cock. His whole body stuttered, jerked and the sounds he made – _Jesus_.

Steve collapsed under the onslaught of his climax. Because Danny fucked him so hard, he felt like he ran a marathon. His ass ached, and he welcomed every pain because it meant this was real. This really happened.

Danny pulled out and leaned over him to kiss his cheek. Steve didn't move.

"You okay, Steve?"

"Yeah, I'm – I'm okay."

He waited for Danny to come back. He missed him. A warm washcloth touched his hot skin. Luckily, he didn't roll around in his own puddle of cum. Danny cleaned him carefully, thoroughly, before he scooted up the bed, wrapping his body around Steve, moving him until he was plastered against Danny's front.

"Let's rest for a moment."

Danny's voice changed. Steve cringed and tried to curl back into his shell, blocking out the tenderness with which Danny carded his fingers through his hair, kissing his shoulders. He didn't try to kiss his lips. Steve didn't turn his head to ask for it.

They dozed off, but Steve woke up, resurfacing in reality, sensing immediately that he was alone and lying there covered with a thin cotton sheet. He slowly turned his head, searching for Danny. He sat at the edge of the mattress, hunched over, his wonderful, strong back bent forward, running his hands through his hair, looking – defeated? Steve's throat was too tight to croak any words.

A phone rang in another room and Danny got up without looking back. Steve heard him answering the call, murmuring words. He flopped back into his pillow, groaning, arms folded over his face.

He crawled out from under the sheet. His gate was stiff at first and Steve rubbed a hand over his lower abs. He felt every angle where Danny's cock pierced his ass and penetrated further up his intestines. Danny had been inside him – Steve needed a minute, waiting, nourishing on this precious moment.

He inhaled, shuddering around the air filling his lungs. Steve padded to the bathroom to take a piss and successfully avoided looking at his reflection in the mirror. He picked up his scattered clothes which had been carelessly tossed to the floor when Danny couldn't yank them off fast enough. Steve slowly put them back on and went looking for him.

Now would be the moment to wave an easy goodbye and head home. Steve knew he should do that, maybe Danny was already tired of him and didn't know how to get rid of him? But Steve didn't have it in him to just – leave. The way Danny sat on the edge of the bed a few minutes ago – the way he somehow folded into himself, as if – as if all this, the night with Steve, also meant something to him, too.

Steve stared into space, holding on to the interpretations his mind was feeding him because his heart didn't want to let go yet. He was being so pathetic.

Steve leaned against the doorframe leading into the kitchen, where Danny was ending his call, wearing nothing but a pair of worn-down sweatpants. He stood with his back to him. Steve turned his gaze away. He denied himself to feel the closeness he was longing for with this gorgeous man. They shared physical intimacy but that only kindled his frantic wish to have – more, to have _everything_ with Danny. Steve's chest tightened, caving inwardly under all the emotions which were rattling through him. He walked back to the living room and sat on the couch, overhearing Danny's last words.

"I'll see you next weekend, Monkey, okay? Danno loves you. Bye, Monkey. Yep, I'll call you tomorrow."

There was a moment of silence. Steve didn't even hear Danny so much as stir, as if he would stay frozen to the spot, waiting. Steve hated to intrude into his private life. That's why he had never taken anyone home. He had preferred hotel rooms, no strings attached, and so far, this had worked for him. But with Danny, he didn't seem to stick to any of his rules. But Danny had a life, had someone he loved, and this someone was waiting for him. Steve had no right to ask anything at all.

Steve put his face in his hands. Shit.

He didn't hear Danny entering the living room. "Why are you dressed, Steve?" His voice was tight, too leveled.

Steve's head jerked up and he slowly stood up from the couch. His stupid heart pounded hard. "I guess it's time to leave. Isn't that – what, uhm – what I should do? I don't want to disturb you. You surely have some plans, some family to meet – maybe, I don't know. I don't want to be intruding – don't want to hold you off. So, I got dressed to – you know – " He didn't finish the sentence, helplessly gesturing in the direction of the front door.

"Did I push you too hard? Did I do something you weren't ready for?" Danny stepped closer, trying to hold his gaze, looking miserable. "Did I hurt you, Steve?" Danny looked so wrecked.

Why would – oh no, _no_. Steve vigorously shook his head. "No Danny, not at all. I – it was very special, wonderful, freaking intense. It was – " His hands fall back to his side, lost for words to comfort Danny. He wasn't expecting to see all these worries on Danny's face, this excruciating insecurity he tried to disguise with a soft smile and flailing hands.

"I don't want you to leave, Steve." Danny shuffled closer, fumbling with his sweatpants. He drew a deep breath. "You know, I never take anyone home. You're my first." Danny admitted.

Steve blinked at Danny. His mind was swept blank, feeling even a bit sick by the way the bottom fell out of his stomach.

"If you liked it, then why don't you look at me, Steve? You stopped kissing me, stopped asking for it. You let me fuck you, true, but at some point, you – closed off? You avoided eye-contact. I thought – you know? I – it was there, in the beginning. What – what did I do wrong, baby? There must be something that happened. It felt too special to be just a one-time thing. This here, between us. I know you felt it, too. Am I right, Steve?" Danny came even closer, breaching Steve's personal space.

Steve's world started to spin out of balance. His heart was squashed by Danny's confession and the honest care his words carried across. "Why do you ask all these questions, Danny? Why do you still call me baby?" Steve whispered, licking his lips. It couldn't be true. Steve tried to pull his mouth into a carefree smile. He failed terribly.

"Before I embarrass myself by spilling my guts, you're gonna tell me why you won't look at me. You can't even meet my eyes now. Steve, I want you _to look at me_ , right in the eye, and tell me what's going on and what I've done wrong." Danny begged with a calmness, defeating Steve, making him jerk his head, afraid he might break down.

His eyes searched Danny's. He set his jaw, clenching his teeth to keep it together. Danny's look made it almost impossible to just stand there. Steve's longing shifted into a physical pain, causing aches he felt _everywhere_. "When I look at you, I see all the things that I can't have, Danny. It's – it's not easy to endure that – wish. I – it's easier to look everywhere else because _I can't have what I want_." Steve's voice was trembling, befuddled by the want in his voice.

"And what do you want, Steve?" Danny said just as unsteady. His hand came up to Steve's hips, pulling him a bit closer.

"More," Steve whispered, running his fingers up and down Danny's forearm, moving up to his shoulders, smiling sadly, blinking rapidly.

Danny followed Steve's eyes with his own. "You know," he whispered back, "I saw you two weeks ago at the club. I'm not there often. But I saw you and – I went back, hoping to see you again. I didn't know if you saw me, too – but I – you pulled me back, Steve. This wish to – to see you again, to check if – if this, if it would be as intense as it was the first time. I wanted a chance to talk to you and hit on you. Although you behaved like all the arrogant Alpha-assholes on stage, I saw right past that. There was something happening when I looked at you." Danny stopped talking for a moment. They were both in no condition to form words, to explain what _happened_. "There was something else about you – surrounding you – as if you were talking to me through – " Danny paused and Steve knew he was just as overwhelmed.

"I saw you, Danny. And it just – hit me." Steve simply said. Danny was painfully honest, giving Steve no chance to deny what he wished for. He answered just as honestly. "I was afraid to go back, Danny." His dry throat made it difficult to breathe. He knew he couldn't hide the slight shiver in his fingers he had wrapped around Danny's arm. The intensity of what was going on shook him. "It took me two freaking weeks to pull my head out of my ass. My sister made sure I wouldn't skip another chance. It's because of her that I went to the club yesterday." Steve's pressure decreased by the second, causing his legs to turn into jelly. They still stood in the same spot, staring at each other, reading emotions from their eyes, not hiding one single piece.

Danny's smile was jittery. "I immediately spotted you last night sitting at the bar, handsome as fuck, slouching at the counter as if you owned the fucking place. I wanted to kiss the hell out of you. Right there, kiss that smirk off your face and turn you in a moaning mess. But I freaked out, got cold feet." Danny had both arms wrapped around Steve's waist. "Tell me what you mean when you say you want 'more'," Danny asked, holding on tight to Steve's body.

Steve immediately let his look drop to the floor.

"I see you." Danny lifted his chin and pressed the softest kiss to his lips.

"Did you just quote Neytiri's line to me?" Steve was moved to the core by Danny's tenderness.

"I wouldn't have thought you knew 'Avatar'." Danny's face glowed, his eyes sparkled.

"I love that movie." Steve mouthed.

"Why?"

"Because there's always a possibility that the impossible might really happen. I want to believe in this chance of the impossible." Steve answered plain and straightforward.

"Then what means 'more'?" Danny demanded softly, cupping Steve's face with his hand, not letting Steve waver in his gaze.

Steve cleared his throat and forced himself to hold Danny's soft, but piercing, intense look. "'More' means that I want you to call me because we're out of milk. I want you to tell me I should buy some groceries on my way home. I want to find your socks between mine in my drawer because our laundry gets mixed in the hamper. I want to come home, knowing you are there, asking me what kind of movie I wanna watch with the pizza you've just ordered. I want to wake up feeling your arms wrapped around me. I want to bring you coffee as we're chilling on the lanai on a Saturday morning – " Steve had to stop. His voice got hoarser with every word he tore from his heart. He couldn't hide his welled-up eyes either.

Danny didn't interrupt him.

"I want a relationship with you – a life – Danny." Steve shook his head. This was some serious shit he blurted out right after he had sex with the man of his dreams. This was some obnoxious, crappy pressure he put on Danny. No matter what he asked for, this would freak him out. This was way too overburdening for a person he'd just met some hours ago. "I'm sorry, Danny. I'm – sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. It's – it's what I feel." Steve's control started to fail.

Danny's eyes never flickered away. He was right there, listening, smiling with a sweetness that cut deep into Steve's heart. "When did you realize all this?" Danny was calm and collected, not letting go, holding Steve firmly in his arms, thumbing away a tear from Steve's cheek.

"After I saw you two weeks ago." Steve rasped.

Danny nodded. He waited, and Steve endured, hoping for an answer that wouldn't tear his heart out. "I have a daughter, Steve. She's seven years old. She's my Monkey. Her name's Grace. She's my whole life, my universe, my everything. She always comes first. I'm divorced, and I went through some tough shit over the last few years." Danny watched him carefully. "My relationships always affected her, too. I'm – I'm careful who I choose because she has to be okay with this person, too. It had to fit for her, too." Danny bit his lip, setting his jaw.

"Is that a 'no'?" Steve pressed the words out, unable to hold back another tear from rolling down his cheek.

"No, stupid. I want to let you know what you'll get if you want 'more' from me. It's a package deal. Me and my baby girl. And I don't trust many people when it concerns Grace. And we're talking about her, too. I need to know that you're okay with that, too. I'm a father, Steve."

Danny watched him, steadied him with the way he emanated strength, with the way he talked about his daughter and with the tender way Danny caught all his silly tears, which kept falling from his eyes.

"I don't know where the two of us are heading if we start this, Steve. I can't just jump in full force. You need to give me time, baby." Danny sighed. "But I want this, too. This relationship, this life with you. I don't have any explanation for all the feelings that drive me crazy when I look at you. I know one thing, though," Danny kissed him again, deeper, more intense this time before he continued, "I've never felt like this before, never wanted someone as bad as I want you, Steve. I'm always thinking everything through, but with you?" Danny's smile was like a sunrise at the beach. "I don't want to let you go. I can't stand to see you leaving, Steve."

Danny fumbled with the collar of Steve's shirt, obviously lost for words. He worked his jaw and his eyes had this glassy shine when the burn of tears was threatening to show. He pressed his face to Steve's chest and Steve held him tight, tucked to his front, waiting until Danny pulled himself together.

"They scare me – the feelings I have for you, Steve. They scare me because they're so enormous and I don't know you at all, but at the same time – when I look at you, it is as if everything, but my brain recognizes you. I don't want to lose you, Steve. I can't. So, please, stay – stay with me and let's start with what we both want so much, baby. Stay – and give it a try."

Danny's words unfolded a possibility Steve hadn't had dared to hope for. Steve hardly stood the mountains of feelings crashing down into his system, tearing down walls around his heart. He closed his eyes, leaning his forehead against Danny's, breathing too shallow. "Will you introduce me one day to your Grace?" Steve's heart was too big for his body, thudding terribly hard.

"Yes. But let's take one step at the time. Please bear with me, don't pressure me about this." Danny's hands slipped up to cup his face, pulling him in for a slow, intense kiss.

Steve was exhausted, falling into Danny's arms, kissing him back with patience and hope.

Danny ended their kiss with lots of sweet pecks to Steve's flushed lips. "I'll grab you some sweatpants and a shirt. Let's eat something and watch a movie to wind down. We could use a break, okay?"

"Yeah, okay. I could eat a bite or two." Steve's watery smile was unsteady, answering Danny's kisses with his own sweet ones. Steve looped his arms around Danny and pulled him in. He screwed his eyes shut and inhaled with a trembling sound, hugging Danny with a crushing force. A break would help to sort this thunderstorm of happiness that threatened to overwhelm him. Steve didn't fully grasp what had just happened. He needed time, too.

They ate pizza and drank a beer, groaning satisfied and well fed before they got comfortable on the couch to start the movie. They both needed a break from talking and spilling emotions and admissions. Neither of them had ever experienced love at first sight and doubts crept around, too. Somehow it seemed the most natural thing to start a relationship, but somehow the mind always chimed in with silly remarks about why this is a risky step. They both ignored the mind stuff.

They were halfway through the movie 'Avatar'. It was Steve's wish because he needed to watch it again to understand that all the yearning which he always endured while watching 'Avatar' had ended.

Steve lay on his back, head propped up against the armrest of the couch, and Danny was nestled between his legs, wrapped in a full-body hug from Steve's limbs. Danny's head was tucked under his chin and Steve buried his mouth and his nose time and again in Danny's hair, kissing him when Danny turned his head to ask for an intense, sloppy kiss.

Steve's cock rubbed pleasurably over Danny's ass and his lower back. He felt the pressure rising. The arousal spread warm and steady throughout his body. He nibbled at Danny's ear, asking for attention. "Hey, babe, you said something earlier – something about me being an arrogant Alpha-asshole – "

Danny chuckled and turned in Steve's arms, grinding down on Steve's hard-on, making him groan lustfully and dirty.

"You checked the mirror before you headed out of the house, right? Because the way you look, Steve? It's criminal. You're so fucking handsome, it gives me a hard-on every fucking time I look at you. I guess I'll have to cuff you to my wrist whenever I'm with you somewhere other than home." Danny pushed his tongue into Steve's mouth. "And yes, you're a handsome, arrogant as fuck Alpha-male, evaporating your testosterone-laden masculinity into every room you are in. And I fucking love watching you do it."

Steve's breath was already rough, controlled, but rough. His eyes turned dark so fast he could physically feel it. "I'm yours, Danny, and yours only. Don't joke about that shit. I don't care how I look as long as you're there looking back at me, being with me." Steve pulled Danny up to capture his lips, making his intention plain to him. Danny rolled his hips over Steve's straining cock.

"You bottomed for me, baby." Danny sucked at Steve's tongue, sneaking his hand between their pressed-up bodies and palmed over Steve's hard length. Steve moaned into Danny's mouth. "Alphas don't normally do that – but you did it – for me. I asked for it, and I knew I would probably lose because, c'mon baby, I wouldn't have guessed that you would let me fuck you, not in a million years. But there you were, pressing your ass to my hard cock, agreeing." Danny's hand slipped under the hem of Steve's sweatpants and took his hard cock in his experienced hands. "I knew the moment you offered me your ass that you were special – for me. You trusted me enough to – be my bottom."

Danny didn't give Steve a chance to answer. He attacked his mouth with filthy kisses, stroking him in his pants, rubbing his thumb over his glans. Steve's head fell back, and he pushed up to thrust his needy cock into Danny's fist.

"Make love to me, Danny." Steve gasped, rocking his hips up and nudging his knee between Danny's thighs to search for an angle to rub against Danny's hard cock, this wonderful beast, with the heavy sack and all the hairs down there. 

Steve's hoarse voice showed Danny what he wanted. "Own me, Danny. I need to feel you moving in my ass. I need this connection with you, to have you as close as possible. I need to see your eyes when you're coming, stretching me to the limit. I want – I need that." Danny stared at Steve as if he forgot how to speak English. "And yes, you idiot, if you haven't got that yet. You're _the one_ – the most special person for me – and I fucking – _love you_ , Danny. Do you hear me?" Steve cradled Danny's head between his hands, forcing Danny to look at him. "I love you, babe." He whispered again.

Danny looked thunderstruck, and Steve saw the suspicious tears in Danny's eyes. It was so many ways of crazy what Steve just said. He was not generous with those special words. But he couldn't help it. It was true, as simple as that, and he wanted Danny to understand what he felt for him. So, he just said it. And it felt good. And he was so many ways of nuts. Holy shit.

Steve didn't give Danny time to overthink the love confession he'd just blurted out. And he wasn't waiting for Danny to say it back. He felt it, Danny loved him. It was enough. He pushed up and pulled Danny with him, dragging him through the living room, making a beeline for Danny's bedroom.

And this time everything felt right.

This time, Steve's gaze never flickered off, never wavered with insecurity. This time, Steve drowned in Danny's love, spilling from his eyes. This time Steve spread his legs wide, letting Danny finger him open, gasping at the sensation, drinking in Danny's flushed chest, his praises and the strength he showed. Danny's body was muscled and strong and Steve let himself fall into his powerful arms, let himself get carried, handing over the reins.

This time, Steve caressed Danny's face when he pushed in slowly, giving Steve time to adjust. He was still sore from their first time, but Steve needed this so much. This time, Steve kissed Danny with all he had when Danny's thick cock was buried balls deep in his ass, and Steve felt full not only in his ass but also in his heart. This time, his soul finally found all hidden places in his body, filling it up, making Steve feeling whole.

This time, they gasped into their open mouths, licking over plump and kiss-swollen lips, sucking at each other's throat. This time, Steve let Danny work his hard cock and watched how Danny pumped his straining length. This time, Steve listened to Danny's words, and the way he pushed him over the edge by asking to come for him – to show him that he was owned, that he was Danny's. "Come for me, baby. Show me who you belong to."

This time, Steve held Danny's head between his hands. Droplets of sweat hit his chest when Danny's face turned red the moment his cock was erupting inside of his ass in climax. This time, he clenched down on Danny's cock, helping him through his intense orgasm. This time, Steve looked at Danny and said, "I love you," before kissing Danny softly and catching him in his open arms when Danny's strength gave up, exhausted from pounding Steve's ass.

This time, Steve forced Danny to stay buried in his ass, keeping their connection alive as long as possible. This time, he was the big spoon, holding Danny in his strong arms, enjoying the afterglow with his man.

"I love you, too, baby." Danny murmured drowsily before they both fell asleep after their intense lovemaking.

Steve heard the words, nuzzled his face into Danny's damp neck, and whispered back just because it felt so good to say it. "I love you, babe," he pulled Danny impossibly close to his front before sleep took him under, too.

They woke up to the soft glow of the late afternoon sun. Steve held Danny in his arms, and their legs were entangled. His fingertips drew lazy circles on Danny's back. "What do you do for a living, Danny?" Steve asked curiously. It only occurred to him now that he had no clue about how Danny spent his days.

Danny rubbed his face over Steve's pecs before he propped himself up, supporting his upper body on his elbow, to look at Steve. "I'm a Jiu-Jitsu instructor. I own my own place and share the workload with my best friend, Adam. I teach, I'm a judge at tournaments, and we offer various courses in self-defense for women, kids classes, education courses for the belt tests, and so on."

"Seriously? You're into martial arts? That's awesome. And what – Adam? Your best friend's name is Adam? What's his family name?" Steve's eyes widened.

"Noshimuri. His name is Adam Noshimuri. He's a badass samurai, great skills, great teacher, a fantastic friend. Do you know him?" Danny asked curiously.

Steve chuckled first before he started to laugh. He wrestled Danny onto his back until he lay on top of him. Danny grinned back and shook his head, telling Steve he had no clue what made Steve laugh so much. "This is called fate, babe." Steve leaned down to kiss Danny.

"Care to explain, baby? Because I don't get it."

"Kono is one of my best friends. We grew up together. She owns a surf school together with Mary, my younger sister, and her boyfriend Kawika, who she's going to marry in three months. Kono was over the moon yesterday because a guy stumbled into their surf school asking for lessons and she was instantly head over heels into this guy. And this someone was Adam Noshimuri. Kono was all giddy to give him his first lesson." Steve beamed at Danny.

"You're kidding me, right?" Danny chortled with amusement.

"I really like where all of this is going." Steve stretched out, draping his body over Danny's like a blanket. He pinned Danny's hands behind his head, kissing him senseless. "You ready for a shower, babe?" Steve asked between kisses.

"Are you going to join me? I wanna wash you again." Danny lifted his head, chasing after Steve's lips. 

"You bet." Steve lowered himself down again, getting lost in the way Danny's tongue moved in his mouth.

"Wanna go to the beach later? Maybe have some shaved ice, do some surfing, hanging out?" Steve asked between sensual kisses. "I mean, if you surf. Do you surf?" Steve pulled his head back to have a better look at Danny's face.

"Yeah, of course, I surf. We're in Hawaii. What kind of dumbass doesn't surf here? Oh yeah, Adam." Danny laughed out loud and Steve drowned in happy feels, hugging him tightly. "He's planning to take surfing lessons for weeks now. He asked me to be his teacher, and I told him, it's much more fun with someone from a surf school. You never know what could evolve from this meeting: surf teacher and surf student, right?" Danny grinned brightly, and Steve hummed into their kiss and kept kissing Danny, although he continued talking. "And let me guess, you plan to drop by to visit your sister's surf school. Am I right?" Danny smiled at him, looking blissed and sated.

"Would you mind?" Steve asked a tad insecure. "I haven't texted her yet. I promised to keep her informed. And when I'll send her a message, I know she'll want to meet you. That's the first thing she's going to ask if I've found you. So – would that be okay for you?" Steve melted into Danny's hands which were buried in his hair, scratching his scalp.

"Yes, babe. That's okay. I'd love to get to know your people. And I want to see Kono. If she's so into my best friend, I want at least get to know her."

Steve hugged Danny and rolled over, so Danny was again on top of him. "Thank you," he whispered.

"Let's take a shower, Steve. You're such a huge sap, and I know in the end we'll both end up crying again. Because everything is too beautiful, too mind-blowing to grasp in a single day. So, shower, shaved ice, meeting your ohana and some surfing. Come on, big guy, move."

Steve couldn't stop smiling and enjoyed the way Danny lathered him up for the second time within twenty-four hours.

On their way to the beach, Steve answered Danny's questions about his job. When Steve mentioned that he'd completed the legendary Ironman competition, Danny made him pull over into a secluded path, so they could be alone. Danny unzipped his pants and gave him a wicked blowjob.

Steve could proudly call himself an Ironman because he'd achieved this accomplishment five times in a row. Steve was the owner of a fitness club that specialized in training people to get ready for any triathlon, and of course to prepare all the crazy guys for the Ironman, the king's event among the Triathletes. And on top of that, Steve's business was a sponsor for this race, and since he didn't participate anymore, he supported the huge event with his knowledge.

Danny's arousal shot through the roof and Steve growled while Danny pinned him to the seat, with Steve's cock swallowed down his throat, bobbing his head and making Steve spill his cum against Danny's palate.

And of course, Steve had to return the favor by making Danny cry out in sheer pleasure. They arrived way later than planned, and Mary made Steve blush a healthy shade of red with the way she eyed him with her lopsided grin while she hugged Danny.

 

**THREE MONTHS LATER**

Steve hoped this wouldn't turn into a habit. His eyes were welled up again, and he swallowed several times. Danny's arm rested on the back of his chair, stroking his shoulder, giving him emotional support. Grace insisted she sit next to Steve through the wedding ceremony. Her little hand lay warm and trustworthy in his big, calloused one, and he was hugging this precious gift with great care.

Mary looked stunning in her wedding dress. Kawika had some troubles, too, to keep his tears at bay when she walked down the aisle guided by their dad who beamed with pride.

Steve felt the happiness forcefully pumping through his veins. He'd grown used to it, and it didn't freak him out anymore. It was a steadiness like the waves lapping at the shore of Hawaii.

Steve had prepared the guest room for Grace for this special weekend. Mary's and Kawika's wedding was held in their garden, greatly decorated by all his ohana. Kono was dating Adam, and Steve turned his head to look at them sitting to their left. They looked happy and head over heels in love.

Danny helped him to buy some new pillows and bed covers for Grace. Steve even bought a new lamp for the nightstand. Danny confirmed Gracie would love everything to pieces. Danny and Grace would stay over the weekend, and it was the first time that both of them slept at the same time under Steve's roof. Steve felt new tears welling up. Danny brought up the topic of finding a new home because he wanted his family to be united, living in the same place.

Steve told him he had an empty house after Mary had moved out into the house Kawika had built for her. And now, he was planning with Danny the new layout of the rooms, getting everything ready for the big move which followed in two weeks.

Steve had his own little family now. He was surrounded by his ohana and friends, sitting at the wedding of his younger sister, and held onto Gracie's hand whom he loved already like she was his own daughter – and he guessed it was okay to cry.

"You okay, babe?" Danny whispered in his ear.

"Yeah." Steve smiled back.

"Need a handkerchief?" Danny teased.

"No, I'm fine." Steve sniffed a tiny bit.

"You happy?" Danny leaned in, kissing his cheek.

"Very. Love you, babe," Steve whispered.

"Love you too, darling." Danny mouthed back.

Grace snuggled into Steve's side, and with Danny's arm wrapped around his shoulder, Steve watched as his baby sis got married.

 

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> I've found a new rare pair and it's Mary and Kawika. It hit me during my writing for my High School AU for the guys. It's still a WIP but it's going great and since that moment I can't get them out of my head. Technically they're not even a rare pair because they never were on screen together once. But I love their chemistry so much. 
> 
> Find me on [Tumblr](https://cowandcalf.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Thank you very much for reading!


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